Friday, April 2, 2010

Porn and Relationships---some thoughts prompted by an article from Dr. Helen

Dr. Helen (the InstaWife) has an article today about a woman in Virginia who basically blames porn for her husband leaving her.   My thoughts are this, and I have to admit that they are much different than they might have been even six months ago--some of them are thoughts I've always had.  I think that the anonymous psychologist quoted by Dr. Helen has the liberal mindset that if something is bad to you, then you must make laws against them.  I agree with Dr. Helen in that I'm sorry that the woman's marriage didn't work out, but I'm of the mind that she's trying to find something outside to blame.

I think that the reason that some women find porn to be disturbing (I'm not one of them) is that they feel that it's a type of competition.  Combine that with feminist 'reasoning' that men should love their spouses/significant others regardless of whether or not they change or rest on their laurels and do not try to keep themselves attractive for their men.  Amy Alkon has blogged about this more than once.  Women can't have it both ways.  I've lost 20 pounds so far and am taking yoga--I'm enjoying the results, I'm feeling better, and it gives me something to do outside of the house, but the impetus for it was my partner.  I want to be attractive to him.  It took some time, some soul-searching, and some hard discussions but I've decided that he's most important thing in my life and I want to make him happy--my being physically fit is a part of it.  If they come and take my feminist card away for that, then so be it.  I'm not losing myself or subsuming myself, I'm keeping the promises I made, even the silent ones.

No comments: