Wednesday, December 24, 2014

DirectTV--Can't say their corporate strategy works for me

Here's a slightly edited version of a letter that I am having to send to DirectTV.  This is a hoop that you have to jump through to cancel an account if you're not already on an account as an authorized user.  Which I can see to a point, but they take it to the next level of stupid. 

PO Box 6550
Greenwood Village, CO 80155

To whom this may concern:
Please find enclosed my power of attorney for my father, Midwest Chick's Dad, account number XXXXXXX, address:  parent's address, city, state zip, phone number XXXXXXXXX.

Please add me, Midwest Chick, to this account as an authorized user as soon as possible so that I can cancel this account.  I am told that it can take up to five business days after receipt of this documentation to process.

I am, quite frankly, appalled that I am having to jump through this particular hoop in such a stressful time as my father is having to go into a nursing home, but that it is part of your 'security protocol'.  Because there has to be a plethora of people calling you up with the account number, address, email address, security code, and whatever else you need and are cancelling other people's accounts. 

I find it interesting that the alternative ‘protocol’ would be to have my dad on the phone giving verbal permission for me to handle this account, because yeah, no one would ever just have their husband or a friend stand in for this.  Even if he was on the phone to you, he wouldn’t know the answer to any security questions since he has never handled payments for this bill nor would know anything about it.  Because, nursing home, schmucks.   

Additionally, I find the fact that there is not even an email account or fax number, only a snail mail option, just to make sure that things go as slowly as possible a joke as well.  I do note that it is a PO box as well so I can't send a Fed Ex, only go via USPS.  I hope more people discover your roadblocks to cancellation and start leaving in droves, even if it takes them months to do so.

Please email xxxxxxx, which is the email address already attached to the online account (because I set it up with my dad's permission), when I have been added as an authorized user (although I've been handling it for the last two years) so that I can try to expedite the closure of this account since I am also having to do this long distance.    If you wish to slow down the process further in order to get that one or two more month’s worth of subscriber’s fee, snail mail Midwest Chick, address, city, state, zip.

Bite me,

Midwest Chick

PS.  Please note that this is not to the person who is actually having to do the processing because I'm sure you find it as onerous as I do.  I do hope this makes it up the line a bit.


RichD said...

I am sorry for the ordeal you are going through. Some companies are like vultures when it comes to doing away with them. Adding insult to injury, they would gladly take you back via a simple phone call, without proving who you are, yet you have to give blood samples to get rid of them. I did away with Directv many years ago. Moved twice, and still get their letters begging me to come back. No thanks. Take care and hope things resolve themselves a bit easier.

Keads said...

Sorry you are going through this. That sucks.

Expatriate Owl said...

It must be an industry standard.

Below is the edited text of a letter I sent to Comcast almost 3 years ago. I was a bit burnt out and my sarcasm/cynicism did not show through as well as it normally does:



Re: Acct. No. 123456789, My Dear Mom

Dear Sirs/Mesdames:

I am the attorney-in-fact (and attorney-at-law) for my mother, the Comcast customer for subject account. I now handle the financial affairs for her, inasmuch as she, having survived all of the illnesses sent her way, has reached an advanced age and now resides in an adult facility where she requires assistance in her everyday living activities. My sister and I reluctantly placed Mom there because she cannot handle her own daily personal and financial affairs without assistance. I have enclosed a copy of a duly-executed Power of Attorney authorizing me to act for Mom.

On February 11th I had a telephone conversation with your Service Representative "R2D2" in an attempt to have Comcast direct all correspondence and billing to me. "R2D2" informed me that my mother would need to personally visit your office (!) to effect such arrangements.

Mom's condition makes it most impractical for her to personally visit Comcast's offices. I myself live 200+ miles away, and do not have regular occasion to be in the area to pay a personal visit during the hours your office is open.

Moreover, Comcast's policy as enunciated by "R2D2" creates nothing less than an obstruction to the prompt and timely payment of Mom's Comcast bill. Any manager worth his or her salt should want to make provisions to have the bills sent directly to the person who actually makes the payments; Comcast bills and other such mail to Mom can be delayed up to three weeks before I receive them and can act upon them.

This matter should be resolved expeditiously as a matter of course. Mom should not have to be subjected to your untoward and unnecessary aggravation. Accordingly, I now request that all bills and correspondence relating to subject account be sent in care of me at the letterhead address above, and that Comcast obey the law by honoring the enclosed Power of Attorney duly executed by my mother. Your prompt attention to this matter is expected, and will be much appreciated.

Yours truly,

Mom's Son
Attorney at Law

Brigid said...

Dad had a security system installed in his house. The problem, he ALREADY had one and just forgot. The new installers saw the sign for it. Big Bro (who was very scary looking when he wanted to be) in getting no response for it's removal and a refund, found out where the installer lived, made himself as scary looking as possible (he was a big guy with longer hair so he could really have that effect if determined) knocked on the door and asked the guys wife, as politely as possible, calling her Maam and taking off his hat, to uninstall it. It was out the next day.

Old NFO said...

Yeah, they are ALL PITAs to deal with, and usually manage to soak you for at least three more months of 'services'...

Midwest Chick said...

RichD: Thanks. On the notepad, I had "followup with Directv-f**kers". Made my sister laugh.

Keads: Somehow it's the little things like this that cause the most problems--not sure why.

Expat Owl: Love the letter. What is it with these types of providers??

Brigid: At least I can field these things now. You should have heard some of the calls that came through.

NFO: I have resigned myself to at least two. Had a lot of fun disconnecting all of their units.