The last refuge of a blogger with bloggers-block. But you should enjoy these. Getting ready to make the trip to Brigid's tomorrow for what promises to be a lovely night out with her and Dave.
3 years ago
--Co-opting good stuff from all over the 'Net and maybe some original thoughts---ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.--check, if Gitmo counts.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.--check, at least the first part, even if it's not deserved.
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.--check, if Bin Laden counts.
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.--not-so-much (see #11).
21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.--check. MEchelle totally has this covered.
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)--not-so-much (again, see #11).
45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.--not-so-much (again, see #11 or when he thinks that all regulations affecting farmers come under th USDA rather than the EPA).
61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.--not-so-much (again, see #11).
64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.--not-so-much since the narcissim is still in evidence pretty much daily.
74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.--I dunno, does Attaaaaaack Waaaaaatch count?
100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.--not-so-much, if the FCC Internet rules fly. Also see #74--Attaaaaack Waaaatch.
"Ya know, if you can find camouflage ballet shoes, then there's a good chance you're gay."I repeated this as I'm walking past one of the facilities crew who promptly gave me a fisheye look, burst out laughing, and said "I'm letting you know I'm going to use that one."
"...speculates that aliens, worried we might inflict the damage done to our own planet on others, might "seek to preemptively destroy our civilization in order to protect other civilizations from us."
"Humanity may just now be entering the period in which its rapid civilizational expansion could be detected by an ETI because our expansion is changing the composition of Earth's atmosphere (e.g. via greenhouse gas emissions), which therefore changes the spectral signature of Earth," the study says.
And it could be that aliens will show up and offer to solve all of humankind's problems, including curing cancer in order to fatten us up and transport us to their home planet in order to eat us... Oh wait, that's been done...."While it is difficult to estimate the likelihood of this scenario, it should at a minimum give us pause as we evaluate our expansive tendencies."
President Barack Obama is calling on Congress to pass a transportation bill to ensure funding for roads and construction jobs, arguing that failure to do so would spell economic disaster.
President Barack Obama is calling on Congress to pass a stimulus bill, arguing that failure to do so would spell economic disaster.Or:
President Barack Obama is calling on Congress to pass a bill to raise the debt ceiling, arguing that failure to do so would spell economic disaster.Or:
President Barack Obama is calling on Congress to pass a healthcare bill, arguing that failure to do so would spell economic disaster.But seriously, every time he's called on Congress to pass whatever bill, arguing that 'failure to do so would spell economic disaster', it's actually passing it that's caused the economic disaster.